16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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