Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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