I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
