'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
