I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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