His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
