she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
