you win again, gameday.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
