So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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