so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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