he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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