i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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