is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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