Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is the high leading the old right now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
whose parrot is this?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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