Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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