i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
