Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
