no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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