is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
