Girls should come with a carfax report
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
