so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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