their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
