I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
