What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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