Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
