just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
