I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
