the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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