We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
