Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
