no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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