so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
