I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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