If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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