I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
