I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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