is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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