someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
