I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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