omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
