You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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