My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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