I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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