I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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