so let's talk penis.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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