I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
