none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
