The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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