I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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