I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
