ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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