Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
