he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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